Let my just start by saying holy shit I am a senior in college. WHAT? Who even let that happen? These past three years have flown by and I am ready to take on this final year and make the absolute most of it.
I’ve been feeling sentimental lately, which is rare because I am so not a soft person. Anyways, I thought it would be a good idea to take advantage of these warm fuzzies and reflect on my college experience.
When I was 18 I moved out and was on my own for the first time, I was working full time, going to community college full time, and my parents were in the middle of getting a divorce. To say that it was hard is an understatement. I buried a lot of emotions into work and honestly lost sight of what was really important. I hadn’t seen my friends in months and would miss out on important things that I shouldn’t have. I didn’t allow myself to grieve my parents not being together. I missed out on family events and holidays, I actually slept through Christmas. It took a long time for me to realize and accept that what I was doing was more destructive than helpful.
I knew that the way I was living wasn’t the way I wanted my college experience to be so I made some changes. I found a less demanding job and made it a priority in my life to see the people I care about. For the first time in a while I started to feel like myself again, I was happy. I was close than ever with my mom and things were really looking up for me. My sophomore year came around and I could feel things beginning to change.
My mom decided to move away and I wont go into detail about how it went down but if you know, you know. It was messy it was hurtful and it led to a rocky (but improving) relationship with my mom and honestly no relationship for a period of time.
I would be lying if I said I was over it, it still stings but I’m working on it. I knew that it wasn’t a situation that I let define me, I wanted to learn from it. It was something that really forced me to grow as a person, I didn’t have my mom there to guide me through the lows because she was the low. I had to navigate through the chaos on my own for the most part. But thankfully I had a few people in my life who were completely and selflessly there for me and its something I will be forever grateful for.
I spent the rest of the school year surrounding myself with the people who I loved the most. Summer rolled around and there was a blissful ease to it. I spent time with my closest friends from high school and those few months were like being 16 all over again and they were light hearted and fun and I loved that summer with all of my heart.
As fun as feeling 16 was I was ready to be a junior in college and to move forward. I was transferring to ASU and felt excited to finally meet people who didn’t know who I was in high school or who I was six months ago for that matter. I did something crazy and decided to go through recruitment and I actually joined a sorority.
I literally felt myself growing as a person. I was making new friends, and not just semester long friends, I’ve meet the people who will be at my wedding. My relationships with my old friends were changing in the best way. We are growing up and falling in love and having dinner parties with wine, that we bought!!
I look around at the people in my life right now and can’t help but feel so happy. My best friends challenge me to be better, my sorority sisters remind me not to take life so seriously, and my family pushes me to be successful and chase my dreams.
Life is freaking wild and unpredictable and its full of love and loss and it doesn’t ever really make sense but I have learned so much from these past three years of college and am so looking forward to seeing what this year has in store.
P.S. Senioritis is so real and the only reason I’m really going to school tomorrow is so I can wear my cute lil promo week shirt and see my friends.